Neighbours

Why would Declan lie to Josh about me?  Why would he pretend that we had gone all the way when we hadn’t?  Why would he want people to think that I’m easy?  I’m so confused about how I feel about Declan right now, I wish I didn’t know what he said about me and I wish I knew what Josh was playing at?  Why do things become so complicated when we get older? 

The truth about Josh – he is a guy who understands little about himself.  He sits in his self-pity focusing on what he doesn’t have.  Is that why he wants me?  He looks at other guys as competition, as if they are more than the sum of his parts!  To prove that he is more than he is he goes after what is in direct competition to him.  So he wants what Declan's got - me!  I thinks that is what is happening.  He doesn’t understand that the sum of a person is what lies beneath the surface, kindness, honesty, humility, integrity.  Unfortunately, I wonder sometimes if Declan has these traits.  I thought he did!  To think I was considering taking our relationship to the next level!  Not with Declan, he’d just tell the whole world about it.  As Donna said, I need to do it with someone special.  Right now Declan is not being that special someone to me! 

Nicola’s moved next door, into Toadie’s house.  I can’t believe he’s taken her in.  That woman does not deserve any pity, she’s a selfish woman with little understanding of morals.  She would quite willingly split my family apart for the sake of her own happiness.  She would rather hurt me than be hurt herself.  She would rather take what is not hers and live a lie than seek the truth of her own existence.   I loath her with a passion like no other.  I have thought very hard about all of this, and this is what I have come up with. She is not worthy of my family’s understanding.  She does not deserve anyone’s pity.  She should be put in exile, for ever and a day! 

Rachel was copping a lot of grief from the creeps at school about her relationship with Angus.  She’s a good person, she just fell for the wrong guy and now she is paying the price for that.  Justin and his band of followers were all over her like a rash, making stupid, schoolboy remarks around her.  Rachel is so much better than they are, I think they know that too, that’s why they are doing this.  Justin is jealous he can’t get someone like Rachel, so he’s trying to make her feel bad. 

Poor Ty.  He’s a good guy really.  He copped it though when Rachel clobbered him over the head with a cricket bat.  With everything that’s been going on in her life, she’s a bit freaked out.  It's any wonder she thought Ty was an intruder when she was babysitting the boys, unfortunately she hit him over the head.  Ouch!.  Ty’s a bit hurt by it, his male pride took the brunt of the beating I reckon.  They’ll be alright, they’ll make up I’m sure.  He’s more hurt by the fact that Rachel actually thought he could be her stalker, than physically being beaten over the head! 

I found out Mum and Dad haven’t actually been sleeping in the same room since we’ve moved back home.  I can’t believe they lied to me about what was going on!  They could’ve just told me the truth, that they were trying to make it work, instead of pretending everything was fine.  They’ve hurt me.  They’re the adults, why do I have to teach them how to behave? 

It’s not much fun being Donna’s slave, she’s nuts.  All she wants to do is make me up and treat me like some play-thing, like I’m her doll.  Having said that, I’d rather be her slave right now than Delcan or Josh's slave after the way they’ve been behaving.  Such idiots!  

The life of Bridget Parker – this week I’m fed up with lies on Ramsay Street - les mensonges, les mensonges, les mensonges!  

Love, Didge x